Liquor Department Develops Theater Problem

BUCKSBAUM- Faculty members in the Liquor department have recently expressed concern that a number of its students have shown repeated interest in excessive amounts of theater, gathering in small groups to discuss various playwrights and impressive theater locations.

“It's clear all the kids want to do is talk about theater,” said Shirley Nellenbach, who teaches classes on Eastern-European liquor contributions. “What's worse, they even want to write their own plays and perform them. It seems like every night I hear about some student passing out in Bucksbaum after a long night of theatering.”

According to Nellenbach, the Liquor department has always warned against the dangers of theater, especially when thinking about trying to get a job. Though very much an integral member of the Humanities academic sub-division, Nellenbach says that “students from all academic disciplines” can benefit from study in the Liquor department.

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