Grinnell Athletics Website Mistakenly Reports Men's Swim Team Victory Three Days Before Conference Starts

In what Sports Information Director Ted Schultz deemed as “some kind of silly little glitch,” the Grinnell athletics website is reporting that the Men's Swimming and Diving team “cleaned up” at the conference swim meet hosted by Lawrence University, purportedly scoring over 1,000 points and sweeping all the relays en route to an overwhelming victory.

Allegedly cruising to their ninth straight conference victory, the article reported multiple Pioneer records possibly being broken. This included the freestyle, the 200 medley relay, and the 1650 freestyle.

Captain Paul “Mad Dog P” Gagne '10, who hypothetically set the new 1650 freestyle time, was imagined as saying, “The team planned on going to Lawrence to compete and that's what we've been reported as doing. In theory, I'm really proud of what we accomplished.”

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