Campus Toilets Protest Quality of D-Hall Food

Dining Hall food has long been a source of digestive frustration on campus, but recent weeks have seen a heavy increase in pressure on all commodes. The burden of low-quality meals with limited choices is finally taking its toll. In restrooms across Grinnell, poopers are making themselves heard.

“Week after week, it's the same meals,” said John '13 last Tuesday. “I've been putting up with it all year, and frankly, I've had enough of this shit.”

Toilets are weary of the injustices heaped upon them, but they look toward the future with hope. With a new president coming to Grinnell, Nollen House is more likely to hear the anger emanating from campus stalls.

“For now, we just need to survive the semester,” said the Head. “If it's yellow, let it mellow.”

As of press time, the shit has yet to hit the fan.

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