President Kington Having Trouble Adjusting To College
NOLLEN - New Grinnell College president Raynard Kington began his time in office last week and has apparently already encountered some obstacles. Sources within his office confirm that Kington is having a great amount...
First-Year Does Not Believe Himself A First-Year
Many students in their first year of college deal with anxieties and inferiority complexes. Most just keep their heads down and wait to grow a beard, but Brandon Freemore '14 has found a new way to handle his own self-consciousness.
First-Year Class Just As Bad As Last Year, Year Before, Year Before That
JOHN CHRYSTAL CENTER - The Office of Institutional Research has released its statistics on the newly enrolled Class of 2014, revealing that the incoming first-years are just as clueless, naïve, spoiled, and wet-behind-the-ears...
Campus News
JRC - On Monday, February 1st, College faculty voted down student membership on the Committee for Academic Standing (CAS) by a 40-32 margin, dealing a crucial blow to self-governance and proving that at least 32 professors...
CAMPUS - After brief stint in rehab, large portions of the student body have now relapsed into their old tendencies of mindless academic abuse.
Grinnell's lengthy Winter Break was widely thought to be just what...
Grinnell's lengthy Winter Break was widely thought to be just what...
National News
NOLLEN HOUSE – While thousands of seniors have walked across the stage to collect their diplomas and crushing financial debts, it is a rare occasion that the college's President does the same. However, this coming May...
PENNSYLVANIA AVENUE - President Obama announced that he would not bail out Vice President Joe Biden in a game of Monopoly started Thursday night in the Oval Office. The announcement came after bailouts of the banking...
Editorial
Hey, It's About Time We Talked About This Whole "Cunnilingus" Situation
So I don't know if you've heard - did you hear yet? - about what happened recently, or whatever, but some people are saying some pretty crazy shit happened. Some stuff has been going around, anyway. I don't know what you've...
Backpage
Welcome! Now Let Me Save You Some Time
You may have noticed that almost everything in this issue was about first-years. That's our way of welcoming you to campus, and maybe hazing you a little bit, too. In case you missed it, we have profiles of all the first-years...
One More Time: The Backpage To End All Backpages
Up until the events of Cunnilingus, I had assumed that I would be writing a reflective, "damn I'm graduating" type of Backpage for our final issue. While I'll still cling to that idea―because... damn, I'm graduating―I...
The plan calls for at least 30 new doorway facilities, with an option to double that number over the next three years, depending on budget constraints.
The Bottom Line
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News in Brief
Security Blotter
- Wednesday, 12:23PM - Officer receives report of three-first-year-pileup in the D-Hall. Spends next hour directing traffic, eating lemon bars.
- Saturday, 3:03PM - Officer hazes twelve consecutive first-years, threatening to fine them for smoking in front of the JRC.
- Saturday, 3:07PM - First-year reports "shots fired" in James residence hall. Officer responds to the call, finds students taking flaming shots in lounge. Officer lectures student for making distress call and thinking Mary B. James can be sub-free. Officer knocks a few back.
- Tuesday, 8:59PM - Officer catches first-year Raynard Kington trying to break into Nollen House. Determines that Kington locked his key inside. Writes $10 fine.
- Thursday. 11:12AM - Officer finally gets two minute break after onslaught of calls from first- years wondering why there is no Convocation speaker this week. Officer had thought there would be a lecture delivered by historian Melvin Hummel, but it turns out Mr. Hummel had second thoughts about coming to Grinnell and has decided to lecture at a community college near his home so he can stay close to his family.
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