Ungrateful Little Shits Won’t Donate To Wise, Generous College
WINDSOR HOUSE- College fundraising operations have recently focused on Grinnell's alumni giving rates, which are significantly lower than peer institutions and other top-tier liberal arts colleges, even those with large endowments. The College is desperate to raise its alumni giving statistics, but not because of U.S. News and World Report or anything like that, because the College definitely does not pay attention to U.S. News and World Report.
The problem has only become more urgent in the current economy, which has caused the endowment to fall dangerously close to only one billion dollars in the last two years. The College has tried different strategies to increase student giving, including dragging their feet a little less when SGA pushes green-giving initiatives for the Senior Challenge.
“We've been so frustrated trying to figure out why students and alumni don't give much money to the College,” said Mickey Munley '87, Vice President for College and Alumni Relations. “If only we could find some so we could ask about it.” Munley told the Grinnell Magazine that he has questioned several Trustees, President Osgood '10, and people in his office about the low giving rates, but has been unable to interview any alumni who graduated since the sixties and don't donate to the College.
The Communications office, which is in Munley's division, has tried to help by transforming itself from a publication about Grinnell and its alumni into a glorified brochure about why readers should give to Grinnell. The peak of this effort so far was the Summer 2009 issue and its cover story on the “800-pound gorilla” as a metaphor for Grinnell's endowment. The article began with the question of why so many alumni have never donated and moved on to some possible answers without quoting any alumni who don't donate, because alumni who don't donate don't know anything. The Magazine also spent time describing how expensive financial aid is for the College, especially the need-blind admission policy, and carefully avoided the fact that Grinnell discontinued need-blind admission for international students a few years ago.
“This deft maneuvering around touchy subjects is sure to get more alumni to donate, as it demonstrates the best journalistic tradition of Grinnell College,” said Munley.
As of press time, Fundraising Operations plans to encourage more students and alumni to give to the College by ignoring and denigrating their reasons for withholding donations. Students and alumni plan to continue to find the College's marketing and fundraising techniques insulting, pedantic, and antithetical to the College's values.
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Comments
This is great! Just read the GC mag articles that inspired this and you’ll know how right this is! And they wonder why no one wants to give…
And now he’s panning to “consult” for other institutions. What nerve. Beware all: this story aptly captures his vision of a strategic approach to communication, philanthropic, and public affairs consulting.
This article is pretty darn close to the unfortunate reality of Munley’s sad outlook. From a guy who has seen the inside, my compliments. Nice investigative work.