Student Declares Major Pass/Fail

CHRYSTAL CENTER- Junior Philosophy major Wyatt Simpson has surprised many with his recent decision to take his major pass/fail.

“Throughout high school, I got A's and a couple B's without too many problems. Once I got here, that got way harder and I started having to do things, like the reading for class if I wanted to keep up those grades. I really hate seeing grades that aren't A's or B's but I didn't want to keep up with all the work. Then, I thought of a way where I could finish my major and not see those other letters, take everything pass/fail. Genius if I do say so,” said Simpson.

Thus far, throughout Simpson's two and a half years at Grinnell, he has not taken a single class for a real letter grade. He has merely had to not fail the course in order to receive credit for it.

At first, the Registrar's Office was very hesitant to give in to Simpson's request. However, upon further review of the school charter, they realized that he was well within his rights as a student to declare a major pass/fail.

“We all kinda just laughed at him when Wyatt told us his plan. Then he cited section 8-B sub-clause three that states that a student may earn a degree from the college while taking all classes pass/fail if they can show just cause. Wyatt then gave an hour and a half presentation and turned in a 60 page paper as to why he should be able to take all his classes pass/fail. It was very convincing,” reported Associate Director of Academic Affairs Bridget Ryan.

Not everyone is responding positively to Simpson's decision. The Philosophy SEPC has publicly denounced his choice saying that it “cheapens the major.” They added, “Wyatt's lazy choice has made a mockery of the hard work we all put in to get our degrees. The worst part of it is that we didn't think of it. Do you think I would have spent four straight all-nighters on my seminar paper if I could take it pass/fail?”

Others worry that his degree will not allow Simpson to be competitive in the tough Philosophy field. Simpson, however, assured us that he has talked to multiple Barnes and Noble managers and was reassured that it will not hurt his chances for future employment.

Simpson's decision has seemed to incite a trend of laziness across campus. A record number of seniors are taking introductory classes and the college is currently working on creating a tutorial major.

When asked how his final two weeks of the semester were going, Simpson responded, “Just fine, thanks. They've been quite relaxing.”