School To Add 4 More Floors To Norris

A computer-generated representation of the futuristic expansion plans.

CRYSTAL CENTER – Administration officials announced earlier this week that the school will add 4 more floors to Norris this summer in order to accommodate all students that still needs rooms on campus. Despite reports to the contrary, the administration claims that the Norris expansion plan has been in the works for some time.

On Tuesday the school released the following statement: “We are delighted to announce that next August Norris will be the tallest building on Grinnell’s campus at an impressive 8 stories. We were originally not going to move ahead with this plan for some time but all of the students without rooms kind of forced our hand. That situation will turn out to be a real blessing in disguise for this campus.”

When the construction is completed Norris will be the largest temporary dormitory for a small liberal arts college in Iowa. School officials hope that it will help increase the college’s ranking among peer institutions.

The B&S has obtained a copy of the official building plans. Carefully crafted on a piece of loose-leaf paper, the plans draw what the new dorm will look like. Additionally the plans note that the project will use concrete as the primary building material and off-white paint will be used to add color.

Some students have begun to echo the administrations excitement about the new and improved Norris. Dennis Carter ’14 is, “thrilled to have the opportunity to live in what probably will be the premier dorm on campus.”

Gretchen Mandrake ’14 added that, “I couldn’t be happier. My friend and I wanted to live on Nor 4 but we couldn’t get a room there. Nor 8 will probably be twice as good.”

Many critics have claimed that this move clearly a frantic solution to a problem the administration created by not allowing many upperclassmen to live off campus. School officials dismissed such claims as untrue.

“I can’t believe anyone would think that we did not plan this addition. We had many other ideas for dealing with the displaced students. For example we talked about building a refugee camp on Mac field, we thought about allowing the dirty hippies on South Campus live outside, we even toyed with the idea of letting all the upperclassmen live off-campus. Ultimately we decided it was time to unveil our new dorm, which will certainly be the most popular come next year’s room draw,” said Tammy Lippert, head of Residence Life.

Lippert also added that, “The new Norris will give our campus a more international feel. It will make Norris look more like the beautiful apartment buildings of Soviet Russia.”