Noyce Third Anointed New High Street

Student enjoys one of the many LAN parties thrown by the new social hub of campus.

NOYCE THIRD – This past weekend Noyce Third received the coveted title of “The New High Street” after it hosted the empirically best party of the year. It beat out favorites Broad Street and High Street for the honor.

“Look, I’ve lived on High Street the past two years. I am the biggest High Street supporter there is and even I have to admit that they have us beat,” conceded Dash Thompson ’11.

“I knew campus would eventually come around to us. DoTA is just too much fun to resist,” said frequent Noyce Third guest Hugh Westland ’12.

“I gotta say I had my doubts that they could do it, but once I went to their party I was swayed. They had four different types of Hot Pockets and three different types of Mountain Dew. Party on N 3,” said Reggie Whitfield ’13.

Last semester many students felt that the houses on High Street no longer filled the role of primary party throwers. Many different locations on campus tried to fill the void. Houses threw elaborate parties to establish their superiority but none succeeded until Noyce Third.

“We knew at the beginning of this year that there may be a vacancy atop the social pyramid and decided to formulate a strategy to establish ourselves there,” said Rex Stewart ’11, Noyce Third veteran.

Noyce Third’s strategy consisted largely of throwing theme parties. Each weekend, and some weeknights, the floor threw a theme party that highlighted a strength of the area. Student attendance was minimal at first but eventually the parties drew raucous crowds.

“At first I was a little hesitant to go to a LAN party but it was off the hook. I was out till four in the morning killing trolls,” recalled Craig Willis ’12.

“I am still hungover from when they sponsored Dungeons and Dragons. The Dungeonmaster kept telling us to drink, and you can’t go against him unless you want to lose serious experience points,” said Rachel Knight ’13.

“By far their best party this year had to have been their quiet study session party. No one talked and everyone did their homework, only we were all blackout drunk. It was so sick,” claimed Heather Proctor ’12.

The new title brings new responsibilities for Noyce Third. They will now be in charge of throwing Block Party. Initial reports indicate that the end of party will now consist of a live action role play and in lieu of beer mead will be served. Some sources report renaissance era clothing will be encouraged but not required.

In a related story many different locations on campus have begun vying to be the new Noyce Third. High Street has installed Linux on all of their computers and Broad Street has collectively switched to the computer science major. It remains unclear whether either will succeed.