No Limits Project Defends Against Accusations Of Pragmatism

FANTASYLAND- In response to concerns among the student body that the No Limits Project is overly positive, not divisive enough, and amazingly practical, prominent members of the Project who still insist that they are not its leadership issued a statement Monday vehemently denying these and all other criticisms.

“Our detractors simply do not understand what we are trying to do,” begins the statement, which was released through Plans, sticking to a tradition of infallible certainty on which the Project prides itself.

The statement continues, “On the contrary, we feel that this campus hasn't been ripped apart nearly enough this year. Despite legitimate concerns, that's what our rhetoric and in-your-face, antagonistic strategy are meant to fix.”

Part of that strategy included a “silent protest” in which protestors talked with Trustees outside the Old Glove Factory during Trustee meetings on April 23. During Admitted Student weekends, the Project used balloons, stenciled T-shirts, and chalked sidewalks to educate people who know nothing of Grinnell about how Grinnell is not what they think it is. Planned skywriting had to be cancelled due to budgetary concerns, as did a proposed hostage-taking option.

To compensate for these and other cuts, No Limits has dispatched students to colleges across the country to warn possible transfer students about Grinnell's problems.

Members of the Project did not comment on the possibility that other schools are even more fucked up.

The Project went on to criticize detractors' focus on their semantics before complaining about the “biased perspective and framing” of a photograph on the front page of the April 10th S&B. Project leaders reportedly also denied knowledge of their work's negative reaction from campus publications, none of which has given their efforts more than a “C-” for effort.

“At the end of the day, these students will have to sit down at the table with the administrators they're pissing off,” said Trustee Bob Jeffreys '79.” If you want anything to really get done around here, there's no better way than to relentlessly criticize professionals and give them poorly-researched demands while waiting for them to give you what you want on a silver platter.”

“Everything they say just proves our point and allows us to spread our message to more nonbelievers,” clarified Justin Nikalsat '09, one of a handful of students who speak most frequently and authoritatively at No Limits meetings but who are in no way the Project's leaders because that would be “undemocratic,” or something. “But really, we're open to constructive input from any students who agree with our pre-determined actions.”