Mush Study Break Poorly Attended

HARRIS- As part of its endless parade of study breaks, Grinnell recently played host to a mush study break. The event was reportedly only attended by fifteen students, most of whom thought that they were going to an extension of the pancake study break.

“It was awful. The signs for it read “breakfast food study break in Harris”. I was pretty sure they meant pancakes but when I got there and there was just Houston menacingly ladling out mush to students,” said Allison O'Grady '11.

The study break intended to capitalize on the popularity of the pancake study break and was held directly after the pancakes. But in contrast to the pancake study break, the mush break had far more rules.

“We had to silently wait in line until it was time for us to receive our mush. If we made any noise we were forcibly removed from Harris,” reported attendee Ricky Chavez '12.

Lilith Hawley '10 added that “they were real strict about one portion per student. I missed dinner so I asked for a little bit extra and they threw me into a work house.”

Apart from waiting quietly for their one serving of mush, students got to make shoes while enjoying their mush. In fact, students were forced to make shoes, and anyone who refused to make shoes was immediately taken away.

“I made shoes until my fingers started to bleed. When I stopped to nurse my wounds they whipped me. Still, it was less painful than writing my research methods paper,” said Taylor Cyrus '11.

There were some similarities with the pancake study break and the mush break. Both study breaks had dogs present, though the dogs at the mush break were considerably less friendly. They were underfed guard dogs who attacked any student who tried to leave the study break before they filled their shoe quota.

When pressed for comment on the unusual break, Houston Daugherty replied that he was, “only trying to give the students a little break from their work.”

Daugherty added, “I thought this would be a nice change of pace from your standard, run of the mill study break. It's also a pretty tough economy out there, so any extra money we make on the shoes will be great.”

The administration has apparently not learned their lesson from the mush study break as many similar study breaks are in the works. This Monday, there will be a root canal themed break in Younker, and on Tuesday, Norris will host a cough syrup tasting. The study breaks culminate in the Russian roulette break in the JRC Thursday night.