Hey, It's About Time We Talked About This Whole “Cunnilingus” Situation

By: Pat Simms '11

So I don't know if you've heard – did you hear yet? – about what happened recently, or whatever, but some people are saying some pretty crazy shit happened. Some stuff has been going around, anyway. I don't know what you've heard. All I know is that there was a party called Cunnilingus, and that you and I should probably talk about it.

Because dialogue always makes things better.

You'll have to forgive me, first of all, for broaching this topic. I hear it has been on people's minds, and so I don't mean to bring it up if you don't feel like talking about it. I know we need to be sensitive in times like this. If I were to tell you how sensitive I have been of myself lately, I may not feel like talking about the party at this particular moment. But you and I have not talked about it yet, and I feel that it is important we do talk about it. Now, preferably.

I should start by saying I don't approve of what happened. Not one bit. Writing the names of women on the back of cups and then pretending to perform oral sex on the cups is sexual harassment. It also demonstrates many forms of -ism, which I'm assuming you are at least somewhat familiar with as a Grinnell College student. If necessary, I could name many of them for you.

In this scenario, I am aware of who is at fault, and I condemn the actions of the faulty. And so can you, if you haven't already. I apologize if you already have, since, therefore, you were already aware of this fact prior to the attention I just drew upon it. It was just to clarify. I cannot stress enough the role that dialogue can play in these situations. This is nice, you and I talking like this. If you ever want to talk about this more, you know where to find me. We can talk whenever and wherever is most comforting for both of us. I am glad that we are in agreement so far in our discussion.

If I may ask, do you know anyone who was personally targeted on the cups? Were you personally targeted? Forgive me for asking; again, I wish to be sensitive. I ask merely to gain a better sense of how this tragedy personally relates to me, and so I hope, for my sake and yours, that you can understand my questioning. Doing this allows me to form my own highly original opinions on the matter.

Oh, and if you were targeted, do you want to tell me what was written about you?

I guess I wonder what is next for the members of the football team responsible for organizing this event. I have heard a variety of rumors circulating. Perhaps you have as well. Sometimes, I harbor opinions with regard to these individuals' punishment, sharing them with community members. Do you do this as well? And if so, may I inquire as to what you believe the punishment should be, so that I may compare your beliefs with mine? Thank you. Thank you for sharing. We are affecting change.

I hope that this issue remains in the public sphere for the rest of the semester. At least some good will come out of it that way. I enjoyed reading about it in the S&B, and I noticed there to be quite a few “secrets” on Plans surrounding the whole incident. I really enjoyed reading those things because I learned a lot I hadn't known beforehand. What a positive experience, given the circumstances. Progress is fun.

Yesterday's open forum further contributed to our dialogue on campus. I'm so glad everyone was free at that time. So much was accomplished in such a short time. My voice was represented at the forum, and for that, I am so grateful. It's so important to always have our views heard by as many people as possible.

I only wish we had more time to talk about this.