Administration Softball Team ‘Looking Pretty Weak’
Not pictured: Former Coach Russell Osgood '10, who was eaten by the Beast before the photo shoot.
NOLLEN HOUSE- The Grinnell administration, which has long been known for its powerhouse backyard softball team, has seen serious setbacks in the last few seasons. Challenges such as losses of players to injury and poor management have left the team in a difficult position.
“Things are looking pretty weak,” says the new head coach, Raynard Kington, MD, PhD, MVP.
Kington, or “Ray-K,” as his players affectionately call him, was brought in at the end of last season to revive the declining franchise. Grinnell managed to acquire Kington from a prestigious major league assistant coach position in an impressive trade last spring. According to Kington, he was looking for a change.
“I'd had enough of doing all the grunt work for someone else and getting no recognition for my efforts. It was time for me to take the reins, make something of my own. Grinnell gave me the chance to do that.”
Unfortunately, the team is in worse shape than Kington imagined.
Last spring, star first baseman Kim Hinds-Brush's contract was up for renewal, and the management neglected to make her an offer. This blunder outraged many loyal fans, and cost the team one of its few true sluggers. “We still don't know what happened there,” said former head coach Russell Osgood '10. “The management really fucked us on that one.”
Kim, who was surprised to become a free agent, is now playing for Lyons College in Batesville, Arkansas. When asked how he would handle Kim's absence, Coach Kington replied, “The situation isn't ideal. We've lost a lot of our former scoring potential, and Kim's spirit and positive attitude will be missed as much as her batting average. But it's time to move on. We need to look ahead and forge a new sense of team identity.”
“I look forward to seeing her on the opposing bench next season,” he added.
The roster took another blow on August 26 when left fielder Daria “Dotty” Slick was injured during practice. The extent of her injury has yet to be determined, and it is unknown whether she will be back next season.
Kington has been getting to know his new team for several months now. In a press release last Tuesday, Kington outlined his plans for the next season. “Our biggest challenge is going to be communication in the field. We've had some issues with these guys being secretive, hoarding the ball when it makes no sense. Even flat out ignoring what they're asked to do. Hopefully, we can work through this and play some great ball by the time spring rolls around.” When asked if Grinnell could make it to the finals, Kington remained optimistic.
“We have a legacy to uphold. And I intend to do just that.”
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