A Brief Timeline of The B&S
1847: The B&S is founded by Jebediah B 1849 and Elias S 1849. It is believed to be the first English-language publication west of the Mississippi.
1849: B and S graduate and find high-paying jobs. They are the first and only B&S staffers to accomplish this.
1861: The B&S enlists in the Union Army. It is the first inanimate object west of the Mississippi to do so.
1863: The B&S is wounded at Gettysburg and returns to Grinnell. Suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder, it begins to drink heavily.
1864: Citing “excessive profanity,” “lack of coherence,” and “too many jokes about Russell K. Osgood's shorts,” SPARC cuts all funding for the B&S.
1864-2002: The Lost Years of the B&S. Little is known for certain about the B&S during this time, though much has been speculated.
2003: The B&S appears in a dream to Nick Lloyd '04. His friend Aron Szapiro '04 convinces him that this dream is different from his previous acid trips and they unleash the publication on an unsuspecting campus. Their efforts pay off, and the B&S sweeps the annual Western Poweshiek County College Satire Newspaper Association Awards.
2004: Renata Sancken '07 takes over as editor of the B&S, since absolutely no one else on campus is interested in the job.
2005: After trying her best to keep the publication from being overrun by squirrel jokes, Sancken flees campus for a semester abroad. Carly Schuna '06 and Bryan Williams '08 take over, although both face identity theft charges and step down in ignominy.
2006: The B&S prints an article so offensive that it creates a coalition between Amnesty International, Campus Carnivores, and the Science Fiction and Fantasy Club in protest. For obvious reasons, we can no longer discuss this article's title, subject matter, or accompanying 3D graphic. But whatever you're imagining… it was worse than that.
2007: Renata Sancken '07 graduates. However, after spending so many hours in the back of the publications office, she is afraid to leave. If you listen carefully at the right time of night, you can still hear her ghostly wails. Also, she lives in the cardboard box labeled “B&S archives.” You guys still have OutTakes, right? Please help me.
2008: The B&S carries on in the functionally literate hands of Bryan Williams '08 and Kevin Marcou '08. Their primary accomplishment is known as a “web site,” believed to exist on something known as “the Internet.” This technology is still very new and unstable, however.
2009: The B&S reaches its 50th issue and is excessively proud of itself. Free the Planet schedules a protest of the 50th massive waste of paper.



ADVERTISEMENT

No comments yet
Laugh, cry or cringe. Let us know!