A Brief Timeline of The B&S

1847: The B&S is founded by Jebediah B 1849 and Elias S 1849. It is believed to be the first English-language publication west of the Mississippi.

1849: B and S graduate and find high-paying jobs. They are the first and only B&S staffers to accomplish this.

1861: The B&S enlists in the Union Army. It is the first inanimate object west of the Mississippi to do so.

1863: The B&S is wounded at Gettysburg and returns to Grinnell. Suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder, it begins to drink heavily.

1864: Citing “excessive profanity,” “lack of coherence,” and “too many jokes about Russell K. Osgood's shorts,” SPARC cuts all funding for the B&S.

1864-2002: The Lost Years of the B&S. Little is known for certain about the B&S during this time, though much has been speculated.

2003: The B&S appears in a dream to Nick Lloyd '04. His friend Aron Szapiro '04 convinces him that this dream is different from his previous acid trips and they unleash the publication on an unsuspecting campus. Their efforts pay off, and the B&S sweeps the annual Western Poweshiek County College Satire Newspaper Association Awards.

2004: Renata Sancken '07 takes over as editor of the B&S, since absolutely no one else on campus is interested in the job.

2005: After trying her best to keep the publication from being overrun by squirrel jokes, Sancken flees campus for a semester abroad. Carly Schuna '06 and Bryan Williams '08 take over, although both face identity theft charges and step down in ignominy.

2006: The B&S prints an article so offensive that it creates a coalition between Amnesty International, Campus Carnivores, and the Science Fiction and Fantasy Club in protest. For obvious reasons, we can no longer discuss this article's title, subject matter, or accompanying 3D graphic. But whatever you're imagining… it was worse than that.

2007: Renata Sancken '07 graduates. However, after spending so many hours in the back of the publications office, she is afraid to leave. If you listen carefully at the right time of night, you can still hear her ghostly wails. Also, she lives in the cardboard box labeled “B&S archives.” You guys still have OutTakes, right? Please help me.

2008: The B&S carries on in the functionally literate hands of Bryan Williams '08 and Kevin Marcou '08. Their primary accomplishment is known as a “web site,” believed to exist on something known as “the Internet.” This technology is still very new and unstable, however.

2009: The B&S reaches its 50th issue and is excessively proud of itself. Free the Planet schedules a protest of the 50th massive waste of paper.

No comments yet

Laugh, cry or cringe. Let us know!

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

*

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>


ADVERTISEMENT

More From This Issue

Former Editor Puts In A Good Word For Puns

WASHINGTON- In a bold move that literally nobody was clamoring for, former B&S editor Kevin Marcou '08 vowed to insert at least one pun into every sentence of his article for the 50th Issueversary of...

Backpage: Does This Mean The Paper Is Middle-Aged Now?

This may come as a shock to many, but I would like to offer the controversial opinion that 10/10 is fucking awesome. And not just for all the obvious reasons, either. We've all heard about the idea of a...

Osgood Prepares To Enter Real World

NOLLEN HOUSE – While thousands of seniors have walked across the stage to collect their diplomas and crushing...

Reflections From A Co-Founder: “I Found The Money In A Ditch”

In 2003, I founded the B&S with my best friend, Aron Szapiro, who would later become my best man. We created the magazine because we thought there was a place for thoughtful, complicated humor that...

First-Year From New York City Goes Into Shock On Trip Home

Emily Webber '13 had to be rushed to an area hospital on Wednesday when she flew home early for Fall Break. Webber immediately began convulsing upon exiting John F. Kennedy International...

Also in the News

Guy With Headphones Talking Really Loud

44 Dead After Killer Coke Rampage On Campus

Janitor Not A Former Star Athlete

Lead Guitarist Leaves Band For One Minute Thirty-Seven Second Solo Career

Instead Of Taking That College-Owned Golf Cart Again Or The Cadillac SUV He Got With His Contract, Houston Dougharty Walks His Lazy Ass Home

Trophy Wife Placed Back On Shelf

New York Times Seems A Little Too Interested In Mexican Drug Cartel Wars

Surgeon General Warns Nation's Wayward Sons To Carry On

Keith Olberman Singles Out Own Daughter On Countdown For Failing To Bring Lunch To School

Last Cross Country Runners Trickle In From Summer Break